Feeling a bit messed up

Being sick for almost 3 days, I feel extremely exhausted, both mentally and physically. What should I do next? The question has been echoing on mind for months and I still have not figured out an answer. Whether I should spend more time on tutoring or researching? Every time I read the news, seeing those who claim to liberate the oppressed become the oppressor, I cannot help myself but to speak up. However, words without justifications are meaningless, so to say something appropriate, I prefer my words being consolidated with grounds, they should have been supported by arguments, thus, this takes time.

As a result conducting researches, being a tutor and working out have consumed every moment I have and unlike people believe, these activities are mutually excluding. The more time I spend at the Gym and teaching, the fewer time I got for research. The conclusion should not surprise anybody, for the fact that, my research environment is more hostile than most scholars. It is because, I am working outside the system, by myself, trying to fix the loopholes of the unjustified beliefs. Not to mention how lonely it is to fight in the battlefield alone.

Everybody is good at something, I am good at teaching, it is supported by the results of my students; however, is it my mission, is it the reason why God has put me here on earth? I am no prophet, because I do not have the faith most of them exercise; nonetheless, I believe, the best quality I exhibit is the fact that I never give a damn towards another's belief, I accept another belief, if and only if it passes the rational calculation. 

In the past, I just write because I feel like this is the only way I can function the society; however, now I am not so sure, I understand perfectly that very few people are going to appreciate what I am going to say, for the fact that I am surfing against the trend, the trend that does not tolerate differences. It is way more comfortable for me to be a teacher, because I get paid, respected for what I am doing, researching on the contrary, I get bashed, deprived and so on and so forth.

My sister used to tell me that I love putting myself into dilemmas, I think she is partly right. When you kind of see things through, you reduce things to an extent that it is always an either or, there is neither hybrid or a third alternative, it is always sad and discouraging but this is how things have been.